Being the engaged mastectomy girl: Wedding planning with a totally doable twist

My fiancé Kevin and I got engaged on a random Thursday night this past March. The best part is that it was totally one of those moments where you kind of black out and don't really remember what is going on, but I do remember calling all my girlfriends and saying "OMG I just got engaged at 5:30 p.m. on a Thursday!" Not only was it a random Thursday in March, but it was also just two weeks and a few days shy of my first surgery date. So unknowingly at the time, I became not just the 25-year-old having the double mastectomy, but the engaged 25-year-old having the mastectomy. It was something that somehow managed to fascinate people around me, and was also the absolute best distraction at the absolute best possible time. (Props to Kev on timing that one up just right.)

And so the shuffling began. Managing wedding planning and surgery, and then recovering, while still wedding planning. So we celebrated for two weeks, and then got into surgery mode. Looking back it all went so fast that I'm not sure I realized the full extent of life's craziness until now, but I'd do it all over again. What better of a time to be surrounded by friends, family and supporters?

So what did I learn from this process? That's the important part. There were many lessons I stumbled upon through the course of being the engaged double mastectomy girl (still am, so keep 'em coming), and this is one of those posts I hope some awesome chick out there either contemplating or going through a preventative surgery like mine can find and take comfort in. Because your engagement is supposed to be fun! And it totally is, even if you're going through a trying time. And it also goes for those that may not have a significant other in their lives yet and worry about having the surgery before finding love. I want to guarantee you there are men out there who will love you, scars and all, and planning your future wedding will be a piece of cake after you've conquered your high-risk.

What I want you to remember:

No one needs to know, or can tell from the outside, unless you want them to I am a prime example of this. You would be surprised that after going through an 8+ hour surgery, a night in the hospital and having horrible drains in you for a week, after week two or three of recovery, no one can really tell by looking at you on the outside. The first wedding venues I looked at, I went to during my initial recovery. I got myself together, put on some makeup, straightened my hair, and no one would have ever known what I was going through. It was a confidence booster for me. To get out and about and be "the bride" looking at venues, with the wedding coordinators not having a clue. I just want women to know that. It's not a scarlet letter you're wearing on your chest. You're still the same chick, in my case engaged chick, that you were before. Don't let your surgery, your recovery, the scars, anything define you. Because at the end of the day, you're still you and a little self-pride can do you well.

People in the wedding industry have seen it all This is phenomenal to me! I was so, so fortunate to have two of my awesome friends Grace and Anne make me an appointment at KLEINFELD'S in NYC while I was in the city for a trip earlier this summer. I mean, going to Kleinfeld's is every engaged chick's dream. And here I was living it! Aside from the hilariousness of the place itself, the crazy women inside and the extreme amount of bridal gowns everywhere, what I took away from this experience was how unfazed they were at my current situation. Before we began the process of picking gowns for me to try on, I awkwardly spoke up and said "Umm there's something I think I should tell you." The woman working with us looked at me and said, "Honey, that doesn't bother me one bit, I've seen it all." And seriously acted like I was the crazy one for thinking it was a big deal. Her and her assistant put me in and out of dresses like I was any other woman in there, and that made me feel so at ease. It was the weekend before my "exchange" surgery, so my expanders were at their fullest, AKA most uncomfortable, stage, yet these women put me in dresses and made me feel completely beautiful. It didn't matter what I was going through on the inside; I was a beautiful bride-to-be that day.

Remember why you're engaged, and don't ever stop celebrating that Engagement is about the love between the two of you. Not just you. Not just him. And this was something I had to remind myself. I was the one having the dramatic few months, with hospitals and attention, but the engagement and wedding planning process helped me remember why I deserved some extra positivity even through the pain and hard days. We're getting married! We're planning what will be the best day and night of our lives! And that is worth celebrating every day, whether you're in pain from the expanders or not. Having my wedding to plan and look forward to 100% got me through my recovery. Sure, planning a wedding comes with a bit of drama and tough decisions, but at the end of the day, I'm the luckiest girl in the world and I had Kevin by my side to celebrate every day.

I am so blessed to have the next six months to continue celebrating my engagement, future wedding and the life we have to look forward to. I may be that chick who had the double mastectomy right now, but at the end of the day, I'm still just thrilled to be Kevin's fiancé .

Xoxo, Molly

List in Pics: Celebrate we will

Life is funny in that we seem to wait for big, sometimes scary, sometimes surprising, changes to come our way to find reasons to celebrate. We’re reminded in times of sorrow, to celebrate life and those we love, and in times of happiness, to celebrate how fortunate we are. In the last week or so, I’ve had many reasons to celebrate many things: life, engagements, birthdays, even goodbyes. Stepping back and thinking about these celebrations makes me realize even more so how much we have to celebrate, on a daily basis. It’s the little things, like Kevin whipping up breakfast for me before work, coffee breaks with my coworkers during a hectic work day, and a long walk catching up with a great friend, that sometimes merit just as much reason to celebrate.

So for this, below is my latest "list in pics," shown through snapshots, of my many reasons to celebrate lately. And I hope that you join me in finding the little things each day to celebrate. Lord knows we have countless reasons to rejoice. We just need to recognize them as they’re in front of us. Happy Friday, all! (Reason #1 I will give you to celebrate today!)

Xoxo, Molly

My very great friend and roommate of all four years at OU, Rachel, lost her father recently. My heart just hurt for her and her family as they went through this difficult time. What I want to point out, is that I was blown away at his visitation and memorial service. His family and friends celebrated his life in such a beautiful way and showed through their stories how wonderful of a person he was, and the impact he made on so many lives. It made me proud to be Rachel’s friend, seeing her do such a killer job that day, and truly made my heart happy, seeing Marty’s life shining down on all of his children, grandchildren and wife Patty. What a reason to celebrate!

Engagements! My goodness, they always say all your friends start dropping like flies once you reach a certain age, and now I believe it! I am absolutely elated with the news of two of my very best friends’ engagements to their longtime, awesome boyfriends. I love that these two will be going through wedding planning with me, and they are making it 100% clear that the next year is going to be a wild, remarkable ride! Enjoy it, girlfriends! (And you know I’m also secretly lol’ing that you’ll be firsthand experiencing everything I’ve been talking about since March!)

Another reason I love celebrating engagements? It brings friends together! To celebrate Claire and Bryce, we got together and spent a day at the lake. Such a fun day, and naturally for us girlfriends, we made it a just-as-fun night out! Hilariously enough, we went to the nearby Hollywood Casino in Lawrenceburg, IN, and had such a funny, fun time! We hung out with Pitbull and Chris Brown impersonators, danced the night away at Boogie Nights and laughed until we cried at how hysterical it all was. Seriously such an awesome night with old and new friends!

My last appointment with my plastic surgeon! Once again, it is still surreal to me that all this craziness is near over. I had a freaking double mastectomy three months ago and I’m already able to say goodbye to my plastic surgeon?! Hallelujah! I unfortunately have other reasons to say goodbye to Dr. Nguyen. She accepted a job at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, and is leaving University of Cincinnati Medical Center. Fortunately for me, she was able to finish me up in a timely manner and leave me in good hands at UCMC if I ever need anything else. Naturally, my mom snapped a pic of us before we said goodbye forever! And even more naturally, I ended up seeing her walking her dog the very next day as I was making a Bruegger’s coffee run with a coworker. She just can’t get away from me! In all seriousness, she did such a fabulous job and was a tremendous resource for me through all of this and for that I am very thankful.

Birthdays! It’s probably my fault that Kevin’s birthday always turns into “birthday week.” I LOVE celebrating birthdays. And here’s the deal, I don’t think he minds one bit. We started the bday week with dinner at his parents’ and enjoyed Kevin’s fave, key lime pie. The rest of the week included lunch at Sleepybee’s with Mare on Monday, followed by a night on the town with me that evening, a surprise dinner with all of our friends (thank you to our peeps who really pulled that off well!) Wednesday and yet another birthday dinner last night at Eli’s with Jenny, Liv & Kyle. He sure was spoiled, and deservedly so! The guy has dealt with a whole lot of sh*t the last few months, AND proposed to me this year, so I think he’s allowed an extra special birthday week. Cheers to many more, K-Dawg!